apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
