I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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