Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
