College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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