I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
