party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
