I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
