NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
