i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
