bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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