No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
