I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
