Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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