Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize