I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
