i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
