If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
