get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
