oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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