forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
