the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
