How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
