Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
