Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I love having hate sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
