I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
