this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
