The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i was in the wii world.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
