Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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