there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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