...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
