great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
