I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
