I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
