Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
