You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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