Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
