Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize