i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
