Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
