I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
