I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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