He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
