Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize