He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
