Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize