Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you had me at cake vodka
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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