Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
