it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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