Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize