You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
