i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
