Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
