I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am one with the molecules
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
