just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
