you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
