my vag is so smooth its legendary
is this the sara with the beer cane?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
