Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize