oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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