After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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